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How to make an alliance with your inner critical voice?

One of the presuppositions of NLP is that, “behind every behavior, there is a positive intention.  For the purposes of this information, we’ll assume that is true (because not everyone believes that, and that’s okay).

So if every behavior has a positive intention, then perhaps that means that your inner critic also has a positive intention, even if it’s methods do not appear to be uplifting and healthy.  Consider this approach:

  • Embrace it, don’t see it as a negative. Take out of it what’s useful and leave the rest.

  • Learn the positive intention of the inner critic and find new ways to achieve it.

  • Perhaps if you take a step back and see what your inner critic is trying to show you, it may be trying to motivate you, or to protect you from something or someone.

  • When you ask what the intention is, be sure and wait for the answer. Sometimes doing so makes it go away on its own.

  • You may get a positive intention and you can actually agree with that intention and use it to your advantage.

  • Then you have to ask the critic: are you willing to motivate me without criticizing me and bringing me down?

  • By doing so, you have essentially made an alliance with the very thing that you thought was holding you back.

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