Fr. Richard (Dick) McHugh S.J. Ph.D.
My mentor, my guru, my teacher, my friend.
Dick was my mentor, my guide, my inspiration, my guru, my ode. But these few words are not enough to describe what he means to me.I forever am in awe of his magnetic personality, his intelligence, his calm, his composure, how he dealt with relations. I always told him I want to age as gracefully as him... and he would simply smile. He was an ocean of gratitude. He led me to explore my own dark side, to know what my answers are and to accept myself the way I am.
Dick McHugh was around 80 years old when I met him at the Retreat House Bandra, Mumbai. As I was preparing myself mentally for that long session, Dick walked in. Attired in a loose blue t-shirt and white pyjama, feet cladded in sports shoes; he walked in with a book in hand. I was seated in the forth row, enthused and eager to train from my master, a subject that was completely alien to me.
The tall man that Dick McHugh was, I reached but his shoulder and looked into his deep blue eyes, and they had me glued for a moment; such the aura he carried.I wish never to have left his side, following him like a sincere disciple. I did about 12 courses with Dick (all levels of NLP & Gestalt). The countless hours in the presence of my master helped me to know more about him or may I say more about me.
In conversation with Dick McHugh, sipping on a hot cup of green tea in the simple setting of the Retreat House, we began talking about his early life. His blue eyes beaming, like light from blue crystals, his face lit, he probably visited his yonder days.
He began, “Anil, I hail from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Oh! The good old days. I was born with a sweet tooth, as a kid I stocked my room with oatmeal biscuits, you could call me a hoarder.” He went on to share instances from his childhood, laughing and participating whole heartedly in the conversation.
As he spoke the expressions on his face were worth capturing. To pursue knowing him further, I asked, “When was Earth blessed with your presence?” He laughed and said ever so humbly, “Anil, my birth month is March and date 11th, 1930.” “1930!” I exclaimed “So you are 80, Now!” “Hahaha”, he went.”Age is but a number”, replied the wise man.
And the conversations continued...
"Language by itself doesn't have any meaning unless it is part of your experiential system."
His command over Hindi was impeccable; it tickled me to ask him how?
“The boys in the school were mischievous; but I loved working with children. I taught them Math, English and religion. We even played basketball! Oh!! What a pleasure working with those tiny souls, sheer delight.”
Dick McHugh spoke about his experience with the kids; with elated spirits. Recalling an instance, he laughed, saying“ Children there would say angrezi samajh nahi aati. Education stands confined to books, knowledge comes with being practical, usable and realistic. The Jesuits worked towards ensuring that hostels were well equipped with classrooms, dorm room and a basketball court.”
Yes, Dick McHugh did master Hindi, his dialect so clear. He learnt the language in 1951 at Dhanbad, Jharkhand.
I wanted to learn what got Dick intrigued in NLP, and so I asked.
He answered, “NLP came later; I was introduced to the subject in 1980. Before which I returned to the States and served at the St. Alphonsus Rodriguez Church in Woodstock, before earning my Ph.D. in Psychology from the Union Institute of Cincinnati.”
As he spoke the conviction and the love for the subject was evident in his tone. Even while in class, he was ever so full of reverence for his mentor. In all the batches of which I was a part, he would mention them with the deepest respect.
I do not clearly recollect if Dick McHugh had mentioned about being a part of the last batch conducted by Richard Bandler and John Grinder or if he was a part of a batch they conducted separately.
His mentors were John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Judith DeLozier, Robert Dilts, David Grdon, Michael Lebeau, Scout Lee Gunn and Todd Epstein. Connirae and Steve Andreas, Linda Sommerand Charlotte Bretto were teachers with whom Dick studied NLP.
Steve, John Grinder and Carol Lankton taught him hypnosis.
"The unconscious is always positive. Allow the unconscious to surface."
Between the countless hours outside the session’s room, Dick and I had conversations. I was curious to learn about the Vipassana on which the principal of awareness in NLP is based.
“I am in awe of Goenkaji and his teachings, for it is through Vipassana that I experienced the mystic, magic and gained a deeper understanding of prayer. Vipassana opened doors to an experiential level giving deeper insight and meaning to prayer.” Dick said bearing a courteous tone, his eyes filled with esteem as he spoke about Goenkaji. “BE AWARE”, he said in a deep voice aping Goenkaji.
`Sipping on the green tea, that was beginning to turn cold, Dick continued, “I took a course given by Tony de Mello at the Sadhana Institute for Pastoral Counselling, founded by Tony himself. Years went by, strongly securing our friendship.” Taking a pause, he added, “Tony was a good man, a noble friend and my boss.”
The sudden demise of Fr. Anthony de Mello was deeply mourned. Fr. Anthony was an integral part both of Dick McHugh’s life and Sadhana Center. This loss changed the course of Dick’s mission and he returned to the USA where he studied and worked hard to get his PhD in Clinical Psychology. NLP became his mission and he gave seminars and taught all around the United States, Ireland and kept coming to India to conduct programs in NLP.
"Love is 100% participation in life. Know that the one you love will be taken away from you; know that if you love, your heart will be broken. Also, know that everything you hold dear is changing,
is impermanent and will die." - Fr. Richard 'Dick' McHugh S.J. PhD.
Coming back to NLP Dick said, “The study of NLP gave me an in-depth analysis to an approach on Mental Health. I was enabled with powerful tools, exercising which I could seek the right answers. I got a better understanding of my own background through NLP. I gained a deeper understanding of my own psychology, physical environment and most importantly religion. “As he spoke, the euphoria in his eyes and the radiance in his smile were evident.
“Anil, NLP gave me clarity, it came as calm, mentally equipping me to deal with things in a healthy manner. Prayer to me was illusive up until the time NLP came in and the Ignition retreat that we Jesuits attend formed the foundation of prayer. I draw my sense of inspiration from Buddhism, Judaism and Sufi tradition, integrating these beliefs and learning made me feel at ease. It helped me align to my own personal beliefs and this I share with everybody”, Dick shared.
And Dick was right, he could connect the dots and would often say, “Nothing is completed without the other, there is always a link that connects the dots”. Through this understanding he was able to integrate the knowledge and experience that he carried within himself. It was around this time that Dick had the idea of what NLP was, but from the knowledge point of view. He wanted to dive deeper into the subject and decide to practice and impart the knowledge to all around. Everything I do today in the NLP classroom is imbibed from Dick.
Fr. Dick in the Session's Room
I asked him how he starts the day before his session. To which he answered, “I begin my day early, meditate and reframe.” He continued, “I relax a while before starting the session to retrieve balance. Walking is a religious ritual. I walk every day.”
What stays with me to this date as a part of my class sessions, are the sharing. Dick was a magician when it came to relations, be it with his mother, father, superior and batch mates; he displayed honesty to the purest level known. Humility from a man to this level, left each of us in the session’s room with the belief of him being above human.
"Knowledge is just a rumor, unless its in your muscle."
Dick McHugh came across as sensitive in his sessions. In the presence of this majestic person even those that found talking about feelings and emotions difficult would melt at the empathy he portrayed.
I’ve heard people say that Dick McHugh saved them. I know for certain it’s true because he saved me. I could trust him and talk to him about anything.
When I think of Dick the first thing that comes to mind are his deep bluish eyes, which were so empathetic. And I can remember his gesture where he would raise his hand and give a thumbs up. This just means Ok, his face reassuring.
An impression as a fossil with me forever. To his lotus feet I will always bow to - with respect, with adoration, with a sense of awe.