Fr. Richard “Dick” McHugh: The Man Who Taught Me to Meet Myself

A tribute to a mentor whose presence transformed more than knowledge, it transformed being.

Fr. Richard (Dick) McHugh S.J. Ph.D.

My mentor, my guru, my teacher, my friend.

Dick was my mentor, my guide, my inspiration, my guru, my ode. But even these words fall short. There was something about his presence that words could never fully capture.

I remain in awe of his magnetic personality, his intelligence, his calm, his composure, and the grace with which he moved through relationships. I would often tell him, “I want to age as gracefully as you.”And he would simply smile. He was an ocean of gratitude.

He taught me to discover my own answers, and to accept myself as I am.

The First Time I Experienced His Presence

As I prepared myself mentally for a long session, Dick McHugh walked in.

Dressed in a loose blue t-shirt and white pyjama, sports shoes on, a book in his hand, he carried no performance, no pretence. Just presence.

I sat in the fourth row, eager yet unsure, about to learn a subject completely alien to me.

He was tall, I barely reached his shoulder. But what stayed with me were his deep blue eyes. For a moment, they held me completely. That was the aura he carried.

I never wanted to leave his side.

Over time, I completed nearly 12 courses with him, across NLP and Gestalt.

And somewhere along the way, I realised:

I wasn’t just learning about him.

I was learning about myself.

Where It All Began

Dick came from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

“The good old days,” he would say.

“I was born with a sweet tooth, I stocked my room with oatmeal biscuits. You could call me a hoarder.”

There was something deeply disarming about the way he spoke, it was light, humorous, present.

To pursue knowing him further, I asked, “When was Earth blessed with your presence?” He laughed

and said ever so humbly, “Anil, my

birth month is March and date 11th, 1930.” 

“1930?! So you’re 80 now!” I exclaimed.

He laughed.

“Age is but a number.”

And somehow, with him, it truly was.

“Language by itself doesn’t have any meaning unless it is part of your experiential system.”

A Calling Beyond Comfort

“So Dick, why India?” I once asked, curious about what could have drawn him so far from home.

He paused for a moment, as if revisiting that chapter of his life.

He told me about his final year of priesthood. There were 32 deacons, all standing at the threshold of a life of service. When asked who would be willing to go to India, 30 of them stepped forward without hesitation. And yet, only two were chosen.

He was one of them.

“I was both scared and delighted,” he said.

There was something deeply human in that admission, no grand narrative, no heroic framing. Just honesty.

India, at that time, was completely foreign to him. A new country, unfamiliar culture, unknown people. And yet, he stepped into it with openness.

He was ordained into priesthood in Jamshedpur on March 24, 1960.

That moment didn’t just mark a religious milestone, it marked the beginning of a lifelong relationship with India.

He went on to serve as Vicar, and later as Pastor, at St. Xavier’s Church in Chaibasa, a small town in Jharkhand. His work there was not confined to the church, it extended into classrooms, playgrounds, and everyday life.

He spoke fondly of the children.

“They were mischievous,” he would say, smiling. “But I loved working with them.”

He didn’t just teach subjects, he connected with them.

In Chaibasa, his role naturally flowed into:

• Teaching Math, English, and Religion

• Building relationships through play, especially basketball

• Creating learning that went beyond textbooks

• Being present in the lives of children, not just instructing them

He would often laugh while recalling,

“Children would say, angrezi samajh nahi aati.”

And yet, in time, it was he who adapted.

He learnt Hindi in Dhanbad in 1951, so well that his command over the language became effortless, almost as if it belonged to him.

That was who he was.

He didn’t expect the world to meet him where he stood, he quietly, gracefully met it where it was.

From Psychology to Transformation

NLP entered Dick’s life much later, around 1980, but in many ways, it felt like everything he had lived until then was preparing him for it.

Before that, he had returned to the United States, where he served at St. Alphonsus Rodriguez Church in Woodstock. It was also during this time that

he pursued and completed his Ph.D. in Psychology from the Union Institute of Cincinnati. His academic grounding gave him a deep understanding of the human mind, but NLP offered something different. Something experiential.

When he spoke about learning NLP, it never felt like he was listing credentials. It felt like he was remembering people, relationships that shaped the way he thought, worked, and lived.

He had the opportunity to learn from some of the foundational figures in the field, including John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Judith DeLozier, and Robert Dilts, each of whom contributed to the depth and direction of his practice.

Along the way, he also studied closely with practitioners like Connirae Andreas and Steve Andreas, whose work further refined his approach.

His learning extended into hypnosis as well, where he trained under:

• Steve Andreas

• John Grinder

• Carol Lankton

What stood out wasn’t just who he learned from, but how he absorbed it.

For Dick, NLP was never just technique or theory. It became a way of understanding people, of relating, of being. It gave him clarity, not in a loud or dramatic way, but as a quiet, steady sense of alignment.

“The unconscious is always positive. Allow the unconscious to surface".

Where Science Met Spirit

Dick’s work was never confined to technique, it always went far beyond methods and models. He held a deep admiration for Vipassana and the teachings of S. N. Goenka, through which he experienced something that words could barely hold, a sense of the mystical, a deeper awareness that wasn’t taught but felt. His understanding of life and human nature was not shaped by a single framework; instead, it was gently woven from multiple traditions, drawing insight from Buddhism, Judaism, and Sufi philosophy. For him, NLP was never just a tool or a structured approach, it became clarity itself. It

brought together his psychology, his faith, and his inner world in a way that felt aligned, grounded, and deeply personal, allowing him not only to understand others, but to truly understand himself.

The People Who Shaped His Path

Fr. Anthony de Mello played a significant role in Dick’s life.

“Tony was a good man, a noble friend, and my boss.”

After Tony’s sudden demise, Dick’s journey shifted. He returned to the U.S., completed his Ph.D., and dedicated himself fully to NLP, teaching across India, Ireland, and the United States.

“Love is 100% participation in life… everything you hold dear is changing, is impermanent, and will die.”

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Dick once said something that stayed with me:

“Gestalt taught me that the resources necessary to find the answers are within oneself.”

And he lived that truth.

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Not Just Teaching, Transformation

He began his days early, with meditation and reflection.

Before every session, he would centre himself.

And then he would enter the room, not as an expert, but as presence.

He was gentle, yet powerful. Sensitive, yet precise.

Even those who struggled to express emotions found themselves opening up around him.

His empathy dissolved resistance.

His honesty was absolute.

His humility, unmatched.

“Knowledge is just a rumor, unless it’s in your muscle.”

What He Left Behind in Me

People say Dick McHugh saved them.

I know that’s true.

Because he saved me.

I could trust him. Speak freely. Be fully seen.

Everything I do today in the NLP classroom carries his imprint.

An impression, etched like a fossil within me.

To his lotus feet, I will always bow.

With respect. With adoration. With awe.

A presence that lives on, not in memory, but in being.

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